The Nigerians who will never stand in any queue, who must make their way to the front as soon as they arrive
The drivers who will never stop at a traffic light, who consider it anathema to allow an empty space in front of their vehicles
The invisible individuals who excrete piles of solid waste on the pavements, night after night
The staff who take three weeks' leave to attend their father's burial, then another three weeks later in the year to attend their father's burial, again. "That first one was my father who paid my school fees," they say. "This one is my biological father"
Nigerians are notorious for illegal electricity connection. Can this happen in London? |
The mothers who threaten the head teacher with fire and brimstone because their children were punished for coming late to school
The bosses who, in the presence of their entire staff, praise you for your excellent work skills, then wink and ask if you also have excellent "bedroom skills", while everyone present bursts out laughing
The top government officials who show off their importance by the number of people jam-packed into their waiting rooms. They give you an appointment for 7am, knowing full well that they do not intend to see you until 10pm
The air hostesses who frown throughout the flight, to avoid giving you the false impression that they are at your beck and call
The "big men" and "big women" who scream "Do you know who I am?" when you ask for some identity before they can be allowed through the gate
Those who ring the airline to request that the flight be delayed for their sakes, while their fellow passengers gaze out of the aeroplane windows for an hour, wondering why the flight is delayed.
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