A love relationship isn’t a stagnant state of mind and being. Your communication, your intimacy, and your trust change as your relationship develops. It isn’t wrong to say that your first date nights are not going to be the same as your date nights ten years from now. It doesn’t mean anything bad either – the development can just be a matter of maturing and improving. In fact, a lot of areas in your relationship can get better over time – including sex.
So, what are the stages of the relationship and how to prepare for them? Here is a guide to knowing what happens to your relationship when you move from dating to parenthood.
The introduction
The first phase is about introducing yourselves to each other. It is about getting to know what the other person is about. The introduction includes the very first dates (perhaps one of three) and the
first texts and phone calls you might make. It’s usually not about touching, but talking. The problem here is that many people will present a muddled image of themselves here. There is a need to look
and sound good which can lead to small lies about what kind of person you really are. It’s important to be authentic during the introduction or the later stages will be worse.
The physical connection
Generally, as you settle for the dating stage, you enter the stage of physical connection. When this happens, can differ – some do it early during the dating phase, some later. But it isn’t really about having sex. It has been just about the connection you have and the lust that enters the relationship.
The early stage is about wanting the other person’s presence. You are not really dealing with the emotional connection as much as the physical one. It’s about needing the other person to be there for you to tell things, to do things and so on.
It’s important here to continue exploring your compatibility and not be blinded by the amazing feeling of having someone around you.
The settled status
Now, after a while of dating and seeing each other more and more, the settled status will enter the picture. This is the stage in the relationship where you officially identify as a couple and often either get engaged or move in together. The settled status is all about the communication. It’s about establishing the kind of communication style you will be using in the long-term and it’s important here to lay down any fears and desires you have. At the early stage of the settled stage,
the lack of excitement is actually good and desired. It’s when everything still seems lovely, but not as hectic and demanding.
The new injection of ecstasy
Things will remain rather settled, boring and mundane for a while. But then the relationship takes the big step and new injection of ecstasy takes place: the marriage. You will again rediscover the first time you met and you’ll never want to keep your hands off each other. It wouldn’t be a surprise if sex is much better here because you two know each other so well – everything will be comfortable,
pleasurable and safe.
The new injection of ecstasy is largely driven by new things in the relationship and your lives. You are probably planning for the big day, you’ll get to celebrate it and perhaps go for a stunning honeymoon at the end of it all. It’s all new and exciting. During this phase, it’s important to continue communicating and learning more about each other – you shouldn’t create expectations that things
will always be as fun and new. This new injection is often also present when you have a child. It becomes exciting at first and the birth will likely bring you closer to each other. Two become one can be a powerful experience.
The slump
There will undoubtedly be a slump following the excitement. The slump is all about you two drifting apart from each other and essentially questioning whether you’ve made the right choices in life. You aren’t sure whether this is it. During the slump, you won’t be communicating as much and you probably will start having less sex and intimacy in general. This becomes a vicious cycle. When
you don’t talk, you don’t want to touch, and you won’t end up having sex. This pushes you further away from each other and causes resentment in the relationship.
It’s important to understand that a relationship needs work. When the slump happens, you need to consciously make an effort to change things around. Consider spicing it up in the bedroom by using Ann Summers promo codes and using toys and inspiration in the bedroom. Have date nights and getaways from it all to force yourselves to talk and listen.
All the above stages have their challenges. It’s important to identify them and do what you can to avoid the bad stuff and focus on the good stuff.
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